Ten Fingers; Ten Toes

My sister-in-law sweetly emailed me today and said she loved the blog, but what is Tessa like? 

Well as you can see from the pictures she is a beautiful girl.  She has more hair than the rest of the babies but is probably the smallest.  She has mastered the skill of sitting up. On the first day we got her she was wobbly but after a day she got her sit up muscles toned and can stay seated up easily.  She has excellent fine motor skills.  We put the cheerios and the goldfish in front of her and she grabs and pinches each one and eats it.  This is our  favorite activity.  She loves to hold an object in both hands and do a face plant on the table to get the goldfish or the cheerio.  No crawling or walking, though she can turn over.

She eats everything we put in front of her with much intensity.  We started with rice congee.  At breakfast we tried some cut up watermelon which she loves.  Formula of course, extra sweet. Then Catherine took us to a Chinese restaurant that does hot pot.  Catherine ordered all kinds of things, and we cut up some tofu and some eggplant for her and she polished that off. Then  we gave her a bowlful of fried rice.  She gobbled at that while waving her little chopstick around.  In the evening I gave her a little banana that she held and ate  quite skillfully.  She has no teeth.  (Actually, two of the five babies have teeth.)

There are four children here from the same orphanage.  In an earlier post I wrote that Tessa appeared to have been fostered.  This is not the case.  According to the orphanage director, she was too small to place in foster care.  She needed more care and she would get better care at the orphanage.  I was impressed at how clean and healthy she was.  She does seem to have a small cold but nothing serious.  All the babies, in fact, seem very healthy and happy.  All the families seem to be settling in nicely which I think is a great relief to Catherine who has availed herself to us for any need or problem.  FTIA if you read this, you have picked a gem of coordinator in Catherine. I'll blog more about her later. 

Tessa is a very serious child. She does not cry often, and when she does she stops when you hold her or feed her.  She easily goes to sleep by simply placing her in her crib.  She does laugh, but I have not figured out how to make her laugh.  Grayson can make her laugh by laughing at her, but blowing raspberries on the belly just gets stares.  She is not as vocal as some of the others, but likes to stare and watch everything.  She is intense and has big eyes to take it all in.  She looks at me as if to say, "Okay lady, what's next?"

We gave them an IU t-shirt; they gave us a daughter

It's official!

Greetings from rainy Nanchang City where we are happy to announce we are officially the proud parents (and big brother of) Tessa Xiaojian Cornell McKim. The process was relatively simple and Catherine made it very uncomplicated for us. We met at 8:10 to make the short trip to the Adoption Office of the Nanchang Provincial Civil Affairs Bureau. We went into a huge building and up to the 26th floor where we were ushered into a big formal waiting room. There were flags of different nations displayed (the countries who adopt their children?) and a small bulletin board covered with pictures of older children that had been mailed to the office. They seemed proud of their girls going off to other countries and growing up healthy and happy. Seeing those pictures brought tears to my eyes. Soon Tess will be one of those.

Tess wants to help

They called us in one by one for an interview with an adoption official. What were our occupations? How many children did we have? (Grayson was there with us.) What were our plans for her education? And the biggest question of all: Did we promise never to abandon her?

After that we went back to the waiting room to be called in for our family picture for the adoption decree, and then we all waited while the decrees were processed. During the process it was expected that we give the official a gift. We gave one medium sized IU t-shirt in gray with red letters. They gave us a gift for her. It appears to be a wooden vase of some sort with Chinese calligraphy all over it. We took some pictures and waited a bit and then boarded our bus for the notary. There we waited and were called one by one to the notary and were asked our occupations and if we promised never to abandon her. When it was over we were handed our official adoption decree which says that we are the legal guardians of Tessa. Catherine announced this to us and our bus went up in cheers. I feel joy all around me from all these new families.

We celebrated this occasion with a trip to Wal-Mart where we bought a few baby things and food. Tessa rode proudly in the front of the cart and stared at everything. Some of the other children fell asleep but not our Tessa. She is clearly an adventure girl, too excited to sleep and big eyes for all that surrounded her. She'll fit right into the fast paced Cornell-McKim clan. One woman came up to us and appeared to admonish me for not dressing her properly. She smiled, but she patted Tessa's bare legs and shook her head no.

Tessa and Dad take a nap

We headed back to the hotel for the rest of the day. We all 4 took a nap together on the king sized bed and then went for a swim in a beautiful hotel pool. I think Tessa and Gray and I will have a fun summer at the Bryan Park pool. She loved the water.
 

Big brother (Ge Ge) with Tessa and Amy

 
One bonus: an American woman came into the pool with two Chinese girls who were 9 years old. They were here on a heritage tour. The girls had been adopted nine years ago from this province. The woman exclaimed over seeing three of us and our babies. We got excited about seeing her grown children. The world feels so small.

Gotcha Day!

Amy And Tessa

As most of you know, I am most anxious to just have my life back to normal, whatever the new normal is. The only problem is, it can't start being normal until Tessa arrives. So yesterday, after all these years, finally, she arrives. It was pretty surreal and overwhelming and even now I am not sure what to make of it all.

Our coordinator, Catherine, told us to be in the business center at conference room six shortly before 4:00. We arrived to a huge UN style conference room. There was a long shiny wooden table surrounded by huge leather armchairs and big microphones at every seat. Catherine had a lot of paper with her and an assistant, also from FTIA, Helen. We five families chatted nervously and then suddenly the four kids from the Yiyang orphanage were being brought into the room. The four babies were dressed identically in little white and blue outfits that said "love" on the front. They all appeared healthy, clean and very rosy cheeked. Not a single one was crying.

Tessa was the first one to come in, and we were the first to receive our child, and then it was just a flurry of kids and pictures and cameras and crying and cheerios being flung everywhere. I would glance up occasionally to see Clara, Pam's little girl squealing over a stuffed Panda that Pam brought, or a grandparent crying or Catherine running around snapping pictures or a new dad holding a baby. Grayson was taking video with the i-phone. One woman in our group, Rana from Northern Kentucky, was getting little Josie from a different orphanage, and she helped by taking pictures. Suddenly her director walked in with Josie and she was swept up in all the emotion as well.

The babies were all sizes, some bigger and some smaller. Tess was one of the smallest kids and has a lot of hair. She was the only one of the bunch not fostered and has spent all her days at the orphanage. The director of the orphanage was a middle aged woman and she called her Jian-Jian (sounds like gin-gin). Catherine told us to have all our questions ready and she would translate. I, of course, spent a lot of time asking questions about life at the orphanage and why wasn't she fostered like the rest. I wanted to know what the orphanage was like so I could tell Tessa her story someday.

Big brother Grayson and "Tess"

They produced the notes that all the birthmother's wrote and left with their babies. Ours was black ink on red paper and simply had the date of her birth on it.

They brought us formula and a small souvenir for her from the orphanage, a keepsake necklace with an ox on it since she is the year of the ox. Then we went to our rooms for a bit and were told to return in 30 minutes to do paperwork which we did. We managed to get a few group photos in their identical outfits before disbursing again. We tried to have a pizza party but I think everyone was too overwhelmed. We visited with a few of the families and shared a few stories, but eventually retreated to our rooms. The men who are here went out last night to the cigar bar on the 28th floor. Grayson,Tessa and I fell asleep at 9:00 sharp.

Geoff and Tessa

Today is a big day filled with forms and paperwork and that promised trip to Wal-mart.

Left to right: Josie and mom Rana; Kaylee and mom and dad Kevin and Kelly; Clara and mom Pam; Madeline and mom and Dad Julie and Joe; Tessa and Geoff, Grayson and Amy

 
Xo Amy, Geoff, Grayson and Tessa

Nanchang City Adventure

We arrived last night to Nanchang City and let culture shock get the better of us. From the vantage point of the shuttle bus, Nanchang seemed very dirty and depressing. Unapproachable. We retreated to our five star hotel room for the evening. We were told that our baby would arrive at 4:00 pm today and by morning Geoff and I knew we would not be held prisoner in the hotel. We found a map and ventured to a local park or two even though it was a gray and cloudy day.

We walked for a mile and encountered a charming street full of clothing stores, a monument and park to the August 1 people's uprising, and finally a beautiful park complete with ponds and flowers and pagodas and families with children and ice cream stands and a small amusement park.

Geoff and Grayson at local park

Geoff, Gray and I were literally the only Westerners we saw the whole time. People did stare at us, especially old men and women. When I would catch their eye, I would smile and you know, they always smiled back. A few people would say hello in English, and we would smile and say Nia Hou. One man asked where we were from and welcomed us to China.

The highlight was when Grayson and I decided to ride the swing ride in the park. For 10 Yuan each (about $1.50) we got on one of those swings that circles round and round up high in the air. The woman who helped us on the ride was thrilled that she had two foreigners on her ride and smiled and waved.

Grayson on swing

We had a great time. I bought Grayson an ice cream for 1 Yuan. It was some sort of green popsicle and it had beans inside. It tasted fine but Grayson, after picking beans out, was frustrated, so we tried again and ended up with a more traditional vanilla ice cream bar covered with chocolate. The sun eventually came out and even though the Chinese are very comfortable in long sleeves and heavy sweaters, Geoff and I were roasting hot. They definitely stared at our bare arms.

Amy and Grayson at park

On our walk we passed about a dozen KFC franchises, a Wal-mart and a cinema. The city is very chaotic. Crossing streets even with the lights can be dangerous, but it really was just a city filled with people and life and food and loud music and traffic.

Amy and Grayson in front of Aug 1 uprising memorial

We are back now. Our lovely coordinator sent our laundry out for us. We had a short lunch with our fellow adoptive families. We are now back in our room waiting for Catherine to call us down to the conference room to meet and take custody of our child. We'll post again with news of the big event. We are all planning a play date and a pizza party.

Much Love and thanks for following us,

Amy, Geoff and Grayson

PS If you want to view all the pictures from Nanchang City you can go here.

I beg the travel gods forgiveness

Great Wall

As a general rule when I travel, I do not like to eat at American fast food restaurants. Why would I eat at McDonald's when I can get that anywhere in any US city? I must confess that although I did not eat at McDonald's, I did not think I could eat one more plate of rice with vegetables and chicken, so I allowed myself to be led into Pizza Hut. Grayson of course was ecstatic and enjoyed a pepperoni pizza. Geoff and I ordered pasta and it was very tasty. We got it to go and ate it in our hotel room. The concierge was disappointed in me. He kept saying but there is such a good Szechuan restaurant there or good Hong Kong restaurant or good Malay restaurant. They were all good but sadly, to me, last night, they were all Chinese food. I think someone could make a fortune here opening a real Italian restaurant.

The travel gods may smile when they note I have mastered the Chinese style toilet, complete with squatting, and I can dismiss rude venders and street beggers with my flawless Chinese. Even though I know the Chinese have now seen many many westerners and we are not so special, as we might have been say, 10 years ago, I still feel very different and very other. I have a real appreciation for people who come to my country and try to make their way around. How hard it must be to see only letters and signs and faces that look so different.

 Beginning the Climb

 Grayson climbing the Great Wall

Geoff, Grayson, and Amy at Great Wall watchtower

Yesterday, today and tomorrow are a holiday in China. Ching Ming is tomb sweeping day(s) (similar to Memorial day or Day of the Dead), so many Chinese were on the roads visiting cultural attractions as we were. Traffic was tight and slow. We went to a jade store (special price for you...mother adopting Chinese baby) and the Great Wall of China. We also saw the emperor's summer palace and got to have a great Chinese feast served on a lazy susan.

 Tang Dynasty Summer Palace

Crowds at Summer Palace

 Woman selling grilled sweet potatoes

The crowds at the Great Wall and the Summer Palace were overwhelming. Tour buses and tour guides everywhere. Geoff and Gray climbed up the steepest section of the tower and the crowds began to thin out there. I went with them for about three towers. The view was beautiful but hazy. The steps are all very high and uneven and I was nervous about climbing down. I did not want to fall down those steps! A Chinese man stopped me to practice his English which I loved.

Today we pack and fly to Jiangxi Province where tomorrow we will receive our little Tessa. We are in good company with four other families who have been lovely to know. Yesterday, two other families joined us for the day for sightseeing. They will stay in Beijing another day and then go to different provinces. One family is getting a son and the other a second daughter. After that they will join us again in Ghuangzhou for the final paperwork.

For Vance: At the supermarket yesterday, Grayson went to pick out a drink for dinner and got a "Huiyan Juizee pop". It seems to be a kind of lemon soda. He proclaimed, "this is the kind of thing that Vance would bring us." So perhaps the travel gods liked that as well.

(PS. I saw the Farmer's market in Bloomington was up and running again. Spring here seems to be a week or so behind us. Cherry blossoms just out and Magnolias are still tight buds. No tulips or daffodils that I have seen yet.)

Thanks for all your good wishes. We are safe and happy and healthy and awaiting each day as it comes. Happy Easter for my friends and family who celebrate this day! I have not seen a single church here. I know there are a few but definitely not as common as in any town in Europe or the USA.

Touring Beijing

Our Group

When I compare the Beijing I visited 15 years ago to the Beijing of 2010, the biggest difference to my eye is the lack of bicycles.  In 1993 the streets seems carpeted with bicycles and riders going to and from work while carrying loads of groceries and laundry and kids.  Now, the streets are wall to wall cars and buses and trucks.  Although there are still bicycles, it seems that residents have put them away in exchange for the almighty car.  Unlike 15 yeas ago, this is not a city I would feel comfortable riding in.  Although I can't begrudge them their auto, (we Americans have taken so rigidly to ours), you can smell and see the pollution in the air.  There are no new sleek bikes like you see in the states, either.  Most are old single speed bikes with rusted chains and baskets for carrying things.

Rickshaws

Yesterday, we awoke at 5:30 am which is 5:30 pm for those of you back in EDT.  We lazed about and had breakfast at this enormous breakfast buffet at the hotel (grand mixture of western food and Chinese food)  and Geoff got our guide to set us up with a very special tour of the old city of Beijing called the Quiangong Hutong.  Hutong means well (as in water well) and are the old original walled cities.  They have been preserved with shops and night clubs and restaurants and some are still residences. It was a cold and sunny day.  Catherine booked us a small van and much to our surprise, everyone decided to join us.  We squeezed in and when we arrived there were 6 rickshaw drivers waiting to take us by twos through the old city.  Our guide, Ox, explained who lived there and how the Hutong's worked and he even took us to someone's residence.  (Some retired people make money by allowing tourists in to see where they live.)  The man we met had a lot of pets: cats and dogs and homing pigeons and a mynah bird that said Nia hou. 

Our host in Hutong

The Hutong seemed unusual, as you hear that in the preparations for the 2008 Olympics, the Chinese made way only for everything new and modern.  This old part of the city I found surprisingly beautiful amid the concrete and traffic and high rises.  Beijing is a bustling modern city with Starbucks, McDonalds and KFC on every corner and even the Hutongs, though dating back hundreds of years were made into discos that sold Budweiser.  I think everyone liked this special glimpse into a seemingly secret part of the city.

Charming streets in Hutong

After the tour and a quick lunch, we all boarded a bigger tour bus and did the big Beijing tourist schlep:  Tienanmen Square, the Forbidden City, the Olympic Stadium and an Acrobatics show.  All these places were filled with tourists of all kinds and also vendors hawking postcards and souvenirs (don't even look at them or they follow you for a mile.)  and of course beggars.  Grayson was upset to encounter a man who would not leave him alone.  He kept pantomiming that he wanted food.  We finally got him to leave us alone and Catherine taught us how to tell beggars to go away.  A sobering lesson for Grayson.

Catherine, Grayson, and Amy 

Forbidden City 

 

Forbidden City Garden

Olympic Stadium

I was impressed by the soldiers everywhere.  Young men dressed impeccably in the green uniform of the people's republic.  They are marching everywhere around the city.  Words everywhere were in Chinese Characters with some English translations.  Gardening in and around the monuments and hotels is not very pretty.  (I am told it gets better.)  And yes, in Beijing people spit on the streets with regularity.  Hearing that suddenly guttural fling of spit is never very pleasant.  But even with all the things that seemed so different at the end of the day, it was a city, filled with construction workers and traffic jams and noise and parks and people going out to dinner.  Not so different than in any American City. 

By the end of the day we were all exhausted.  Geoff, Gray and I caught a quick meal at a Malaysian restaurant and home to the hotel.  Tomorrow we see the Great Wall of China.

There are no strangers when you travel

I was most amazed at the crowd at the airport when preparing to depart for Beijing. At least half the travelers were White or African-American. A school group from a high school was traveling. Beijing appears to be quite the international city from the vantage point of the departure gate at Newark airport. I met a young man with a backpack who was off to meet three buddies in Kumming and travel around for a month visiting tea plantations. He was there representing a Czech tea company called Dobra (shops in Madison and Burlington, VT). I told him that Bloomington would be a great place to start another! In another life that would have been a fun trip to take.

Shiny Airport

We three arrived safely in Beijing. The flight was long but very uneventful. Continental had a full range of movies (over 300) for free and they served us a ton of food. Grayson actually did homework and slept in addition to all the movies he watched. The paperwork was minimal, one long line at the arrival gate and a temperature scanning device, but our bags came right off the plane and Catherine from our agency was there to meet us. As you step out of the airport there are a sea of faces all waving signs for you. Catherine was at the end waving a small blue flag and smiling. She is very sweet. The shiny airport was made for the Olympics, Catherine explained. It is not used as much, but they day we were there it felt very busy. P and her family had arrived a half an hour earlier from Dulles. P will adopt also from the orphanage we are from and her daughter is only a few days younger than Tessa. Catherine got us all on a beautiful tour bus, and we were driven into Beijing to stay at the Kuntai Royal Hotel. We are told that this is a perfect hotel for westerners as we like soft beds.

 Catherine

Our first act was grocery shopping for water and wine and then making our way through dinner at a nearby noodle shop. P and her family joined us and the food was excellent. We all figured out what to get by pointing at a Chinese phrase book and a menu with pictures on it. P is a vegetarian and had a much harder time, but we all managed to eat something. Grayson's dumplings had green things in them and he at them all up and proclaimed them delicious. (He then almost fell asleep at the table.) The waitstaff seemed largely amused by our antics and watched carefully to see that we liked our food.

 Grocery

We managed to stay awake until 8:00pm which is 8:00am in Bloomington. Today we will tour many popular sites with our whole group, the balance of whom we will meet tomorrow.

Facebook and Blogspot are not available from China so I rely upon the kindness of two blogger friends to put these up.

More tomorrow!